Growth Mindset

 

   Image by chenspec from Pixabay

    I have seen videos of Carol Dweck speaking about growth mindset before. At that time, I had no idea who she was, but the videos really did interest me. I thought I would also use the word "yet," and it's gonna change my life. At least that's what her videos portrayed to me. When it didn't really work, I started to think I had what she called the "fixed mindset," which made me really sad. I thought I cannot really do anything about it. I started to think in ways of haves and have-nots, and I was one of the have-nots. 

    From what I understand, Carol thinks that everything that is not working in your life is a problem with your mindset, and once you try to have a growth mindset, things will change. There are external influences on students that do not have anything to do with "mindsets." Everyone goes through stress. We are basically living in a plague, and there will be times when things just would not work out. She says you should rather put it as "things are not working out yet" and work hard until they do. That might work for some people- which is wonderful but, for me, it started a cycle of guilt, and slowly I  started to blame myself for everything that was not working out. It took me a lot of time and therapy to learn that it is alright and I do not have to blame myself. I had to leave this idea of having a fixed mindset or a growth mindset. When I fail, I still try and work harder (which, according to her, is a growth mindset), but there are things I stopped doing, as they were just not for me anymore- but there was no more blaming myself. 

    The idea of a growth mindset seems fascinating, but to me, it did more harm than good. I might've made mistakes in understanding the concept fully, but I find working with a therapist and still giving yourself time to be yourself was so much healthier. Everyone is built differently; if you tell a fish that "you can't fly yet," you might create some serious self-esteem issues. Also, she does talk about test scores after saying scores might not be the right thing to estimate a child's worth (or something like that), which to me was very hypocritical. If it works for you, congratulations! If it does not, it is alright- please don't blame yourself. ❤