Comment Wall


Image credits: Shakuntala Patralekhan


  1. Hey Rishikaa, I really like the image you used for the first story in your portfolio! I also really enjoy the writing style you use in your story, it's extremely fun and mischievous. Using Yama to tell the story gave it a whole new life of its own, which was very refreshing. The quips that Yama said were very funny and added a nice comedic air to the story when it needed it.
    The visuals in your story were well written and had me imagining the scenario vividly. Especially the end where you talk about Aksha's "weak smile" as he flies away with Yama.
    Your author's note was very informative and provided me with information I couldn't have had otherwise. I think that overall, you did a really great job. This is a wonderful story to include in your portfolio and I can't wait to read more!

  2. The First Death:
    I like that you tell the story from the point of view of death. One of my favorite novels “The Book Thief” takes the same approach and it is chilling and engaging all at once. I am very impressed that you chose to re-tell the story with the original characters it shows that you have had a great understanding of everything we have read. I enjoy the scene about throwing fruits it reminds me of a food fight scene you would see in a movie. I think it might even be cool if you were more descriptive in that section and described the colors of the fruit, who they hit, the sounds they made. I enjoy the line where Sita where Sita embarrasses the king, love a powerful female character who can hold her own in all novels. Maybe mention the buffalo before he is offered as a ride seemed a little random. Overall awesome job!:)

  3. Hi!
    I really like the way your portfolio is coming along! When reading your first story, I like how you told it first person. It made reading it fun and I felt like I was apart of the story. Your portfolio seems to be taking on a fun, engaging vibe, which I really enjoyed. I like how your stories incorporate comedic relief so that the only think isn't just dark. This makes it read more like a fun novel. It seems like you are really comfortable with the style that you are using and that makes your writing seem really strong. I can tell that you are having fun with this and really making it your own. I will be interested to see if your future stories take on the same characteristics! Good luck and good job!

  4. Hi Rishikaa!

    I absolutely loved reading your stories and observing your writing style! The stories being in the perspective of Yama is so unique and often overlooked. I have always found it interesting to look from the perspective of death itself, and you put it into words! It was really creative for you to keep the original story, but to make Yama seem like a spectator in the story waiting to guide the dead. Your writing style made the stories very easy to follow and I could vividly image the scenes in my head. I really like how the story goes when the characters actually die and how they face death. I like the parallel between the both deaths in the stories, and how both feel as though they disappointed their fathers. It shows another layer to the "good" and the "bad" sides of the epics. I look forward to reading more of your work, great job!

  5. Hi Rishikaa, I like that your storybook is a compilation of all the stories that you have enjoyed! I also really love the picture you have of yourself! It reminded me of reading a book, where the authors picture is on the cover of the book! While reading, I liked how you formatted the story – I found that to be very creative of you! I have read about Abhimanyu hearing all the stories while in his mother’s womb, and I liked how you have incorporated it in your storybook! I liked how you showed a bigger personality of Arjuna – by creating a bit more of personality to his character. I also enjoyed that you narrated this story by speaking as Yama. The way you narrated was very informative. I really enjoyed how you said “baby Abhi” – made it very cute! With his prior knowledge, hearing how to break the Chakravyuah, he was able to do that. But because he fell asleep, he did not know how to get out. Very well done!

  6. Hey Rishikaa! I've always been a fan of Death as a narrator in stories, for whatever reason, and it was really cool to see that for the Ramayana and the Mahabharata - I never thought about having Yama tell the tales. I particularly liked the way you include elements of personality for him while telling the stories: treating everyone as if they're young "kids," the laughter, the references to not quite understanding events and motivations...perfect.

    It was also really, really clever to split the Mahabharata story with different backgrounds. It made the whole thing a lot easier to follow, while also matching the separate "themes" really effectively. Great work - I might have to draw inspiration from it in the future. Presentation is everything, or so they say.

    The only thing I can think to add would be some indicators for when you're using a different nickname for a character. I thought it was neat to include Hanuman's other names, but it was initially a bit confusing while reading the story - you might even simply relocate the author's note so it precedes the story, that would work just fine without requiring any re-writing.

    Excellent work, regardless.

  7. Hi Rishikaa!
    I remember reading your story about the Chakravyuha a couple weeks ago. I thought the idea of creating a storyteller was brilliant, and I think Yama is the perfect choice for a storyteller because he is always present and because he is humorous and weaves his own opinions or sidenotes into the story. He reminds me of Hades in Disney's Hercules in a way. Plus, having this narrator in every story gives your portfolio continuity, which I think is a really great way of tying your stories together even though they aren't supposed to relate to one another, if that makes sense. I wanted to let you know though, your author's note for the Drona story is a footnote on every page of your portfolio, so that is something you may want to fix. Also, being a portfolio, I was wondering if you could include in your author's notes any changes you made from your original story. I would love to be able to read both versions and note where you thought you could improve the stories. Wonderful job though!

    1. Hey Lydia,
      Thank you for pointing out about the footnote! I did not realize it at the time. I am glad you liked the stories. I would definitely put the changes in the Author's Note.

  8. Hi Rishikaa!

    I just got done reading the stories of your portfolio. I think you did a great job, and I loved that even though it wasn't technically a storybook, the stories were still connected by the narration of each of them done by Yama the god of death. Having his perspective in these stories and getting to see how the characters who died might have reacted once they were dead was really interesting and fun!

    This week the feedback focus is on images, so I wanted to give some feedback about those! My favorite use of images in your portfolio is on the second story, "Breaking the Chakravyuha." I really liked the way you had the page broken into three parts and an image for each one. In the other two stories, you just had one image. If I were to change anything I would either make it so that each story has a few images and a few sections like the second one, or for the first and third stories I would use the same presentation for the images. Right now, the image on the first one is a header and the third one is fully displayed on the page.

    I hope all that is helpful, and once again, great job!

  9. Hi Rishikaa,
    I love the outline of your website, first of all! Second I really like how the front of your website has a picture of you! It makes me envision you as the author more and more and it makes more of a personal connection. I also really liked that all of your stories had narration in them. In doing this I have noticed that the reader feels more in touch with the characters and helps them understand truly what they are feeling. I also liked the perspective of you taking the route of reading to children. This is interesting because many of us have read all different versions of these Indian Epics, so breaking down your stories in this way makes it almost easier to understand and follow along with your story. Overall, great job and keep up the good work. I am excited to see what more you come up with.

  10. Hey Rishikaa,

    First of all I want to say that the outline for your portfolio or your website is very engaging. The graphics that you chose were high quality. There were no sign that the website were lacking any design features. I read your Bhishma's story and it is quite interesting to see how you used the children's story to tell your story. It was like I was reading the story to like a body of audience. I love the heroic character being told in such an amazing way. He cares about the future of a kingdom and he was willing to withstand the pain to make sure that the new ruler learn the right way to do a good things and take care of the people. I wonder what the process of him healing and teaching would be like. I wonder what lesson he would teach the new ruler about. I am just curious. Overall your story was great and amazing.


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